We have all seen it. There you are, minding your own business, walking down the sidewalk, through the mall or around the track. Then suddenly everything seems to snap into slow motion. Your senses sharpen. You can hear blades of grass scratch together in the breeze. You can see the rays of sunshine make their way toward the earth. The smell of a hummingbirds’ breath floods your nostrils. In that moment your focus turns to the couple walking your way in the distance. From a great distance nothing looks out of the ordinary. However, as the couple gets closer the problem becomes abundantly clear – there is no way on God’s green earth that this guy should be with that woman. Your brain immediately tries to solve the problem. She must be blind and possibly deaf. Maybe he is filthy rich. He must play the acoustic guitar – in public places. A genie granted him a wish. Maybe they are just brother-sister and for some very strange reason they enjoy holding hands in public while gazing into each others eyes. In those few seconds between seeing the mismatched couple for the first time and passing by them in confusion, your head has been tossed into a Dairy Queen Blizzard-like brain freeze. After desperately searching for answers, you just know that this is one of life’s mysteries that can never be solved, like Bigfoot, ghosts and women’s emotions.
Fortunately, this natural phenomenon occurs so often that there is a way to make some sense out of the madness. First of all, it’s clear that women date down. Sure there are always exceptions, but 99.9999% of the time when you see a mismatched couple it is some redneck with dip in lip and beer in hand or a nerdy suspender-sporter walking hand in hand with the a woman that he should have never even been allowed to stand in the same room with. Rarely will some GQ model be seen with a homely, Little House on the Prairie type.
It is truly impossible to put a finger on why women date down, but it is quickly becoming a law of nature. Maybe women need a project – a man that they can nurture and fix. Maybe women need to control the relationship and choosing guys a few notches below them on the totem pole ensures this. Maybe guys are just so smooth they can pull of this miraculous feat (This is definitely not the correct answer). One way or another the general rule is that women date guys lower on the attractiveness scale then themselves. The next question is how far down the attractiveness scale do women go?
The answer is 2. Women will date men that are a maximum of 2 slots below them on the Attractiveness Scale. This means a guy can at his very best hook up with a girl that is 2 points more attractive than him. For example, a guy that is a 6 on the attractiveness scale can date a woman that is a 6, 7, or even an 8, but he can’t get any higher than that – 9s and 10s are unreachable. So what is this Attractiveness Scale and how do you figure out the Attractiveness Score?
Well, that is the easy part. The Attractiveness Scale goes from 1 to 10. 1 being Urkle, Screech, or any other classic tv nerd and 10 being insert your favorite heart throb here. But you may notice this is not called the Hotness Scale. Oh no, this is a far more advanced creation. The Attractiveness Score takes into account all relevant information: Looks, Personality, Bad Habits, Job, Intelligence, Skills of all types, etc . . . . So, you could be incredibly hot but a complete idiot with no real job aka and your Attractiveness Score will plummet. On the other hand, there is hope for those who were not blessed by God with even remotely decent looks because lots of money, a few good jokes and a nice car can catapult you into a woman’s heart that is far more amazing then yourself.
Now the light bulb has gone off in your mind. This once unsolvable mystery is slightly more manageable, and you know that this theory is true. There is still no answer for why women choose guys this way, but this is clearly what is going down. So look at your boyfriend or even better your ex-boyfriends. If he was 4 then that means you are a 6 at best. If he was a 2 then it is time to get to work and make some life improvements. Like the great Saturday Morning Cartoon Commercials once said, “Knowledge is Power.” Now that you have the formula, it is so much easier to play the game. If you are a guy-5 then there is no reason to waste your time trying to impress a girl-9 because a 7 is your max. It’s just never going to happen, unless you hit the gym, take a shower, stop shopping at Goodwill, and learn how to carry on a conversation that isn’t about beer, hunting or your glory days of high school football. For ladies, this formula could be a slap in the face by reality. If you have been with some real losers then you have to look in the mirror and figure out where it all went wrong. A woman-8 shouldn’t be wasting her time with the 4s and 5s of the world. It’s just unnatural. So, tally it up, discover your score and let the self-improvement begin.