hilarious and handsome sports guys

If someone's feelings aren't hurt, we aren't doing our job.

Wet Paint and Women

Posted by hilariousandhandsomesportsguys on December 23, 2009

By: Blockparty
 

It is sometimes helpful for men to think about the complexities that makeup the essence of woman through the use of simple metaphors and analogies. This allows the finite minds of man to somewhat comprehend the never ending enigma that is female’s actions.

Females are like wet-paint. It is a proven fact that a guy can not walk past wet-paint without being irresistibly attracted to it. It doesn’t matter if the wet paint is on a wall, chair, or the top of an 80 foot water tower, a man’s primal desires force him to go see if that paint is really wet or not.

Likewise women send out all of these signals that say “get away”, “not interested”, “I’ll call the cops”, or “I’m dating Jesus.” For some reason a guy has got to find out if the warning signs are real. Or even worse sometimes the sign says, “dry paint”, “I’m interested”, “You’ll never know if you don’t ask” and BLAMB! Next thing you know, the guy is all covered in wet paint and embarrassed because he got shot down slash covered in wet-paint.

The key is to wait until the wet paint drys. Maybe stand real close to the paint and blow on it (aka send out the vibes) to speed up the drying process. Men foolishly run full blast into the wet-paint and then its all down hill, but as we all know the paint will eventually dry up. Undoubtedly, a female can be worn down to the point that she will like a guy that is ugly, dumb, fill in the blank as you see fit.

Just look around at the stupid looking guys with some amazing girlfriends. That didn’t happen because he rolled around in the wet paint and made a mess. He straight up plugged in a hair dryer and worked that wet paint. See now instead of getting all frustrated because you keep getting paint on your clothes everyday, just slow down the process and let the paint dry. Whether you are tearing down all of the warning signs on your way to getting embarrassed, or simply getting ambushed with wet-paint by the evils of female signs of deception and utter confusion, do not give up. Just have a little patience and let the drying process take its course.

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5 Responses to “Wet Paint and Women”

  1. thebear said

    “I’m dating Jesus.” -haha

    Although Ive never heard those exact words, thats totally the vibe ive gotten from more than one chick… spot on

  2. John said

    I’m confused about how you can write about ESPN being so miserable because they aren’t covering sports while the HAHsportsG are doing the same thing by putting relationship advice up on their SPORTS blog. Not that I don’t think it’s funny, just hypocritical. Otherwise, great post.

    • John, John, John, we get to operate by a double-standard. We are still underground and fresh. In fact, we have to keep our options open just in case someone wants to pay us millions for some of our other brilliant takes on life. Lets say TMZ wants us for some fake celebrity reporting, that Seth may or may not engage in. Maybe Yahoo! loves my relationship advice and dedicates one of those little links to my sage wisdom. Its just smart business. Speaking of business, we may have to start writing stock market analysis now.

  3. Crystal said

    very amusing….good analogy. Another one is fishing. the stupid looking guys who get amazing ladies are using a very effective lure. Confidence and the ever-hated “R” word ~ romance.

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